I've had the mysterious duties thing definitely. I was terribly hard on myself in some respects and Looking back on my own experience, I decided my relationship & my conversation was a little paranoid. It was a hard thing for me to be inexperienced at.
To my mind there are examples like it in the bible's Old Testament where the Jews imo clearly have a paranoid relationship with God.
with your experiance try a little humour now & then, it can help alot
