In the name of ALLAH, the Beneficent, the Merciful. (eta...please also read part 2 which I posted in a second reply....what you might distill from this - very roughly speaking - is that part 1 is the law and part 2 is the spirit of the law within me).
KR wrote:what you do with texts like the one that says a husband can beat his wife (however "lightly"!") and deny her the marriage bed if he doesn't like the way she's behaving?
In light of this absolute form of inspiration, can one assert Allah was accommodating the culture of the times? I know non-fundamentalist Muslims do not advocate this kind of treatment of wives. What is their reasoning?
What I do with the text is
I listen to what the scholars have said on the matter, seeking their guidance and following what they command. I can totally sympathize with your problems over the word "beat". I wish it wasn't used in english translations, as no matter what one understands in the Arabic, the connotation of "beat" in English is "abuse". So it doesn't matter what the rest of the chapter may say regarding good conduct and good character that would shape this verse and reform a person's heart towards mercy; the word "beat" stands out as ALLAH saying that we should "beat our wives" - and I seek refuge from Satan the Accursed from such implications.
No one was more of a fundamentalist Muslim than the Beloved of ALLAH, the Prophet Muhammad, may ALLAH send peace and blessings upon him and his family. A Muslim is required to
strive to acquire his character. It is reported through authentic chains of transmission that the Prophet said:
- I have been sent for the perfection of good conduct.
- The most perfect in faith is one who has the best manners; and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.
- The best among you will never beat women.
The context in which the verse should be understood is that which has been conveyed to us by the Prophet, and collected and explained by the scholars. The scholars of this religion are those who
teach on the authority of and by the permission of their teachers, who received permission from their teachers, who received permission from the Prophet himself. Similarly, the condition of one's heart and one's conduct should be that of the Prophet, may ALLAH send His peace and blessings upon him and his family. And so also this purification of one's heart comes through chains of transmission, with
permission for instruction given accordingly. The ones who are not of this path of knowledge are not rightly upon the path of this religion, rather they are following their own speculation or desires and subsequently the Prophetic knowledge and/or character is lacking.
Mufti Taqi Usmani reports in his explanation of the Quran on these verses (summarized by me): Men have a position of authority over women, and women have rights over a man's wealth and provisions of security. Women and men operate in this arrangement with the expectation of agreement and pleasure. Under this principle, should a wife contravene the marriage arrangement, or commit a grave sin, then the husband has been given instruction on how to resolve this matter before taking the matter public. One is not required to apply these steps, but should a person seek means of exercising his authority over his wife, this is how it shall occur. Following the previous steps, should nothing be resolved, then the strike shall not cause any harm, physical mark, or be applied to the face, and that its intent is a symbolic gesture, not a means of beating her into submission. And if this process reconciles the two, the husband cannot hold any of the subsequent actions of the wife against her (from the point of the initial disobedience). And the woman who fears abuse can seek arbitration, and the husband who finds his wife unrelenting should seek arbitration. And ALLAH has power over all things and will hold us to account for that which we did against His Mercy and Justice.
As to why the verse exists at all, then, and particularly about your question of cultural accommodation, I can't say; I don't know.
It is reported from the Messenger of ALLAH, may ALLAH grant him blessings and peace, that he said, "Shall I not inform you about the person who is forbidden from the Fire and for whom the Fire is forbidden? Anyone who is close to people, soft and lenient." So the reason why I don't beat my wife (and I consider myself a fundamentalist) is because I love ALLAH and the Prophet and fear the Hellfire. The only context I can understand actually applying the conditions of that verse would be on a matter so plainly obvious where my wife was terribly in error that I feared for her own condition on the Day of Judgment were she not to cease the behaviour (like committing adultery, or slandering the Prophet). Further I could not have a trace of anger or pride within me, for fear of the consequences for my own self. It is reported from the Messenger of ALLAH, may ALLAH bless him and grant him peace, that he said:
- The one with the smallest trace of pride shall not enter Paradise.
- The powerful is not he who knocks down others; undoubtedly the powerful is the one who controls himself in a fit of anger.
- When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If his anger subsides, well and good; otherwise he should lie-down.
- Whoever is deprived of kindness is deprived of all good.
This method is given to us to avoid arguing and harsh words that worsen the situation and make reconciliation hard. A husband should not exchange bad words to his wife, but inform her in a plain and kind way of his displeasure with her, and then leave her alone in bed, but not abandon her, or isolate her completely, and then use a symbolic physical act. So one who, in an argument over something, grabs his wife has broken the command of ALLAH. This verse exists in a vast milieu of character traits and behavioural norms that haven't been mentioned (like upholding the dignity of others, not arguing with others, not saying harsh words about others, being generous with others, being quick to forgive, etc.). And I can't tell you about the extent of which acts merit a response of authority by the husband versus which merit a response of humility and submission by him to her. You would need to consult a scholar for that. I just know my wife and I aspire to be good Muslims and that we accommodate each other in an equitable manner in line with what we know of Islamic principles, and that our marriage is a happy one.
Regarding culture, Islam definitely has a notion of gender roles. The culture of Medina which existed at the time of the Prophet is the ideal culture. Here are some excellent scholarly reflections upon culture, gender, and Islam:
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Some Islamic Perspectives on Gender
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Gender and Gentility
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Islam, Marriage, Gender and Sexuality
Peace,
-sgttomas