Jokes

[Metacrock]

we had a bunch of jokes on SON, the old board. But I dont' want this to be nothing more than a joke board. I want this to be a place where we can talk about anything that makes us feel good.

I'll start off with a couple of jokes.

a guy comes into a bar and sees a cowbirl drinking three beers at the same time. He says "say miss, those would taset better if yo order them one at a time."

she says "I know that,but I'm ordering these for my sisters. you see I just moved here from Amarlillo Texas, and I'm lonenly. My sisters always have a beer at the local bar back home at thsi time of day. So told them I would order beers for them and be thinking of them. I know they are thinking of me.

this was touching to the man and he came to the bar as regular for a couple of months. Everyone got to know the cowgirl and liked her. She became a regular. But one night she only orderd two beers. Everyone was sad and assumed somethnig happened to one of the sisters.

latter the man said "I'm sorry for your loss." She says what Loss? he says "you only order two beers so we all assume something happened to one of your sistes."

cowgirl says "no, they are fine! I promised my mother I would quite drinking."

[unred typo]

This is one I read on another board….

There was a widow and a widower who lived in the same Senior’s RV park in Florida. They had known each other for a while so when the park had a dinner at the Recreation hall one night, they joined 2 other singles and went together.

Throughout the evening the old gentleman cast admiring glances at the widow and she smiled back coyly. Finally he could contain himself no longer and blurted out, “Will you marry me?” She took 6 seconds of careful deliberation and answered, “Yes, yes, I will!” They enjoyed the rest of a lovely evening before returning to their own trailers.

The next morning, the old man woke in a panic. He couldn’t remember if she had said yes or no. After getting up his courage, he nervously called her and explained that his memory wasn’t as good as it once was, and although he could remember asking her, for the life of him, he couldn’t remember what she answered.

“Oh, you silly man. I said; “Yes, yes!’ and I meant it with all my heart!”, she replied. He was so relieved and happy, his heart skipped a beat as she continued, “And I’m so glad you called. I couldn’t remember who asked me…”

[Metacrock]

ahahahahahahaahahah that's good.

[unred typo]

The second one is an ageist joke. Seems out of place on an egalitarian board.

Well, it's cute and true to life and the people who laugh the hardest are usually those over 70. I'm not very egalitarian, anyways. I think everyone should take themselves a little less serious and no one should be hateful. I don't hate old people, I think they are adorable and I hope to be one someday if I should live so long. If I'm not there already...

[tinythinker]

Have you heard the joke about the whacky four minus the zany three? It's a funny one.

[unred typo]

LOL...no, I haven't but it does sound funny....

[Hazard]

This might not be ok in the US but here downunder its a crack up. An Australian aboriginal comic told this joke at a comedy festival I attended some time ago..

Aborigine boy goes to his witchdoctor complaining about a sever all over body rash he has had for weeks, asking for a cure. Witchdoctor tells the boy to go buy a slab of beer, get his mate drunk till he passes out, throw him in the pot, boil him up, get the fat from the pot and cover himself entirely in the fat, and come see him in a day or two. Boy does this and goes to the witchdoctor and says he is cured. He askes the whichdoctor the name of the cure? The witchdoctor answeres, "Us blackfellas dont have a name for this cure, but the whitefellas call it, PAL-OF-MINE-LOTION!

[Metacrock]

This might not be ok in the US but here downunder its a crack up. An Australian aboriginal comic told this joke at a comedy festival I attended some time ago..

Aborigine boy goes to his witchdoctor complaining about a sever all over body rash he has had for weeks, asking for a cure. Witchdoctor tells the boy to go buy a slab of beer, get his mate drunk till he passes out, throw him in the pot, boil him up, get the fat from the pot and cover himself entirely in the fat, and come see him in a day or two. Boy does this and goes to the witchdoctor and says he is cured. He askes the whichdoctor the name of the cure? The witchdoctor answeres, "Us blackfellas dont have a name for this cure, but the whitefellas call it, PAL-OF-MINE-LOTION!

ahahahaahahah!!! ahahahahahahah!!!! that's pretty good man. hey I think may be the frist oz joke I've heard. tell another one!

[KR Wordgazer]

Heh. That's a good one.